Thursday, February 28, 2008
Everything is just so...F up.
I mean it.I am not addicted to vulgarities or what.
It's just that everything is just so damn fucked up.
People are getting angry with me over my common test result.
What makes you think I don't study.
It's just that I study stress free.
Don't ever assume.
Not as if I guessed my way through my paper.
What the hell.
I know what I wrote on my papers.
Moreover, if you choose to be angry, scream into my face.
Don't make subtle comments.
Anyway, I have the notion of closing down the blog.
It's like, I am very grumpy on this blog.
It's obvious.
Yet, that's the way I work.
I write down my anger and stuffs, and carry on with life.
Nobody's ever been there to listen to everything.
Everyone is caught up with life.
I am not a supporter of cyberspace life, yet it's funny how I am adapting to the functions of a blog.
Anyway, it's like, I can't stand my own grumpiness much less publish it to the world.
Actually, in real life, I don't voice all these concerns out to anyone I feel displeased of.
Admit it, we are living in a world that some sort of disallows comments.
I really feel it's a waste of money yet I'll go.
She's my really really good friend.
:D
The struggles we meet in life.
:/
I really feel so torn apart; being the mean and the kind.
One thing I know for sure, I do not have a good character.
I'm slowly coming to a full realisation of this fact.
I don't like the way I have become.
A hypocrite.
Yet, I don;t like the way I was.
Too straight-forward.
I'm still trying to find my way in life.
Labels: Random
♥ much loves, 9:34 PM
Sunday, February 24, 2008
:) statisfaction
I shall comment on the Saturday band practice we had.Hmm, I was planning to get there early but I only managed to get there on time since I overslept a little due to the amout of fatigue that almost overwhelmed me.
I am now on speaking terms with Joyce.
I just felt no point in trying to ignoring her or what, making her life and mine miserable in band.
Let's just try to make the best out of the worst and be co-operative with each other.
I shall be appreciative of everything she does and not be critical of things she did not do.
:D
Well, the practice was tough on the whole.
I was seriously sapped of my energy.
The only conclusion I arrived to after the practice is :
I am physically too weak for band.
I even have difficulty carrying the speaker back to the band room as I was too tired.
Gosh.
Anyway, I feel that even though I am sure that my friends and I do not have positive attitudes in band, but every time we are on the field, we always try out best.
I practically dragged myself to watch L change the world.
Fortunately, I didn't fall asleep :D
The show was not as nice as expected.
Next up, CJ7!
Yet it appears as though everyone has watch it already.
Moreover, my schedule is very very tight.
Who would be nice enough to accommodate their schedule for me?
Lol.
I lost my passion.
Then the commitment.
I've gained back my commitment.
The passion will be back, I'm sure.
Hopefully.
The journey towards Gold.
Everyone says we are only fit for Silver.
Let's all hope that the results will be fulfilling, if not happy and worthwhile.
Labels: Band
♥ much loves, 9:35 PM
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Laziness strikes.
I am feeling so lazy now.Can't seem to start on my preparations for tomorrow's Physics Common Test.
I think I will do badly for my Amaths, even to the extent of failing.
Haha.
Geography was good on the general.
I had fun doing it.
:D
Life is so much easier now.
:D
I am still not talking to her.
I doubt I ever will.
>.<
Without her, I find my life so much happier.
Grr, Physics.
I'm scared.
Labels: School
♥ much loves, 8:03 PM
Monday, February 18, 2008
Mixed feelings : /
Am currently having mixed feelings: sad because I think that I would fail my chemistry test even though I studies till 2am this morning; happy because I'm just feeling happy ad light-hearted.I am really not going to do well.
What to do?
It's over already.
>.<
My common test results are so going to make me faint.
Went to eat with WeeKiat, WeiLi, Brian, Edrei, LuLu and BenNaNa just now.
I love to have lunch with people.
Firstly, there's food.
Next, we always gossip and talk while eating.
Lastly, it's just so nice hanging around and chilling out with friends.
:D
Anyway, ZhengWei is such an adorable person.
He sms-ed me yesterday night, asking me out after common test, which is fine with me.
Then he switched the topic to band, which I personally think is the inner motive.
I told him what I feel now, which is nothing.
Also, adding to say I have no expectation for anyone now.
He replied by saying something along the lines that he's glad to hear that but if I really have any comments and opinions must voice them out, else I might sink into depression and become a nut case.
Tell me, where do you get such cute friends nowadays.
x]
Thanks for your concern darling, I'm really very fine.
I feel so happy nowadays.
Really very light-hearted and easy-going with everything.
Despite everything, I still feel that my interactions with Vivien is quite hypocritical at times.
Not her, but me.
I just don't know how to interact and talk to her now.
I guess everything will turn out okay.
I smile and talk to her; everything is so fake.
To my SL, who wrote me a card on new year to ask me to Forgive and Forget.
I'm sorry to say, I can't.
It's just plain ironic for you to do all the wrongs to me and be the one who advices me to forgive and forget.
Who are you to think that you have the rights to have my forgiveness after doing all these things?
I just can't be nice to someone who looks down on people and makes me dreads going to band.
I'm sorry for being mean.
As the childish sayings which kids keep using, " She started it first" and " I don't wanna friend her", I guess everything have to end.
:D
Thank you for once bringing laughters into my life.
They will all be stashed into my memories, locked and kept safely.
That's just all I want to share with you-memories.
It's time to grow up, and if you just can't seem to mature, I'm sorry.
There's nothing I can do and there's nothing I will do.
I tried and tried and tried, but to no avail.
I won't try anymore.
Period.
Everything just ended.
:D
I LOVE HAPPINESS!
I LOVE THIS FEELING.
Anyway, I'm really sorry to say, I currently have no life except school and band.
Like I don't even have the new year to catch up with my friends and go to ZhiYing's house to gamble.
54 more days to freedom and fresh air.
54 more days to the prefect ending to our friendship.
54-long yet short.
Everything will fly pass, I hope.
Labels: School
♥ much loves, 5:21 PM
Friday, February 15, 2008
:)
Phew, rather than feeling sad I felt so relieve knowing that everything is just a coincidence.It doesn't matter that the little gesture of yours is not done on purpose.
:]
I woke up feeling super tired.
I didn't have my usual caffeine intake so I was very sleepy in class.
:/
I am quite happy today.
As I really felt no more burden anymore since I really feel nothing for them anymore.
:D
Labels: Random
♥ much loves, 6:30 PM
Thursday, February 14, 2008
To You
In the last few minutes, I just want to say, I like you.A lot.
:D
Labels: :D
♥ much loves, 11:51 PM
Love :D
Happy Valentine's Day! :DLove is in the air!
Hmm, first, thank you WeiLun and ZhengWei for giving me Toblerone Dark Chocolate.
Appreciated it a great deal :)
Moreover, I didn't eapect you guys to give me anything.
Well, maybe a little bit.
Haha!
Weili, thank you very much too!
JunYu also bought the class sweets!
I'm definitely a happy girl today.
Well, maybe for the first part of the day.
:p
Thank you so much, for making my day.
A small gesture it may be, but it really brightened up my day.
Then, I realised I lost my freedom of speech on this blog.
It's very weird that someone obviously feel that she lost her freedom of speech.
Ironic it may be, she barge into my world and grabbed away my freedom of speech too.
I am living in a world of reality, but it all seemed so fake at time.
Hypocrites here and there, making me feel so irritated.
Stop crying, I am immune to your tears.
You made me realised something, I finally lost the ability to feel; thank you very much.
"Better late than never," ZhengWei tells me.
I just want to comment, it's so close to never that it doesn't matter.
[Psst, it rhymes]
I feel so terribly mean for not sympathizing your plight, but somehow your work could have been easier if you did things the other way from the start.
Guilt is gnawing at me, yet these are all facts.
I've lost hope in everything too, just like you.
Yet, I doubt mine will be ignited ever again.
You caused it to slowly die down, smoldering.
Then, you gave it a fatal hit--a bucket of cold water.
I love my committee, and nothing else.
That's all.
Nothing more and nothing less.
♥ much loves, 8:08 PM
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
The Fright
I am afraid of the fatigue that will be threatening to overwhelmed me.I will survive, I hope, beautifully.
I think the main conflict is that I care too much for my own good.
However, I can't seem to do away with those dilemmas.
Valentine's Day is coming, and I have no mood and no one to celebrate with.
Lol!
I'm just being random so I can slack a few minutes more.
:/
Labels: Random
♥ much loves, 9:02 PM
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Oh Man!
If I could undo what I did, I would.Just to save myself from the trouble.
Save Me.
Labels: Random
♥ much loves, 9:21 PM
Cheer up :D
This post is dedicated to LOH WEI LI.Cheer up darling.
Stop being so pessimistic.
There is always a good side to things right?]
Like, band, it teaches me never to join a JC band.
:D
OPTIMISM WILL RULE THE WORLD!
Further more, you must be very happy to know I lost more money than you!
Anyway, with the timing so incorrect, isn't it so much better to have this arrangement?
This way you can concentrate on your studies and be one of the few who excel and top the school in 'O' levels.
This would definitely be better.
Cheeriossss :D
Labels: Random
♥ much loves, 4:19 PM
Thursday, February 7, 2008
I can't think of one.
My room after cleaning up :DTaken from the door.
This is from the opposite side.
My bookcase and wardrobe.
My stuff toys.
I threw alot away le.
All these are gifts from my favorite people.
SO MUCH. Everyone is banned from giving my stuff toys.
STUDY TABLE!
Lol.
Storage boxes I took from my Daddy's fishfarm to dump all the books and worksheets.
Then I'll burn them all away at the end of the year.
x)
Anyway, went to visit most of my paternal relatives.
I had to restrain from eating too much of all the yummy tidbits.
t.t
Currently feeling super duper bored as there is nothing for me to do.
Having guests in my house at this particular moment but I'm not feeling hospitable so her I am.
Lol!
Age and generation gap you see.
I sometimes feel that I simply cannot communicate with them.
>.<
I said that I won't cry over band.
Yet I failed once again.
Damn.
When can i stop feeling.
Labels: Random
♥ much loves, 4:45 PM
CNY!
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR.Went to school very very late.
Cause I didn't take my Daddy's car again.
x(
Anyway, the performance was okay.
I got 2bucks from the school's red packet.
:D
Went to Lot1 to lunch.
Then walked around with Patrina who kept thinking that I was angry with her.
Haha!
Met up with Liying, WeiXian and BoJia after Patrina went home.
Chatted and caught up with each other.
Next meeting will be like...Teachers' Day?
Lol.
My family cleaned up our house.
My room is sososo tidy now.
:D
Shall post photos soon.
Reunion dinner is as usual, STEAMBOAT.
x)
Just now I prayed earnestly to the Gods.
Please, please, please, I know I've not diligently praying.
But, I truly need all the blessings.
Hmm, was talking to ZhiYing about band from about 11.3o or somewhere near there.
Then, at 12o2 I felt real depressed.
Hence, the first sensation I felt after moments passed Chinese New Year is depression.
Nice.
All because of band again.
Anyway, there are so many movies I want to watch.
Yet, I have to put them on hold due to the hectic schedule.
I don't think I can enjoy my New Year.
T.T
♥ much loves, 12:10 AM
