Friday, October 31, 2008
An angry friend.
Sigh.
Why nowadays people so fierce?
Mamamamma ah!
.
A pleasure to spend time with you, my babe.
(:
Smile, as the sun will be shining.
Be brave.
(BY AND BY. TO START OFF ANOTHER TOPIC/SUBJECT OR WHATSOEVER, the powerful "." will be used.)
EXAMPLE:
JIALE
.
BITCH
YIANLU
.
JIALE
CUTE
CLEVER
.
YIANLU
SCOLDED FUCK
.
JIALE
:D
♥ much loves, 11:39 PM
Thursday, October 30, 2008
I'll be there.
And, I hope you know that I'll be here for you.We'll all be here.
<3
Will be there when you need me.
A promise that won't be broken.
(:
♥ much loves, 9:28 PM
Smile.
That uplifted corners of the lips.Best way to brush past all uncertain issue.
First step to genuine happiness.
&...
It's also the last taunt to people who sadden or anger you.
So, s m i l e.
This pictured tickled me.
(:
Hope it brigtens your day.
:D
♥ much loves, 12:54 PM
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
I think it lies with me.
Keeping mum about a lot of things.Sometimes, speaking certain aloud don't earn you securities, like what you wished.
But...it just wedge in between, stuck there for ever.
Learnt it the hard way.
As much as I mind, I zip my mouth up.
Because...when it comes to the end, I guess...in the game of life, there's no one to blame, but myself.
♥ much loves, 6:40 PM
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Sigh.
I feel extremely R.E.S.T.L.E.S.S.I have a confession to make.
I don't think I have good time management.
In terms of family, friends, or study, whatever.
& I realise, I'm more insecure than I'll ever let on.
Perhaps, I have too much time to myself recently.
I don't think my thoughts are running wild, but rather, I'm reflecting a lot.
Sometimes, I think that I run away from sadness.
'cause I want to be happy to make others happy.
Perhaps, all the smiles and laughters are just a facade.
But, sometimes, there's just not a channel for you to let loose of everything you think.
No?
I feel myself straying.
From everything.
Nowhere here and nowhere there.
& sometimes, I find myself, longing for a place where I belong.
24/7.
Longing for someone who would always be there.
Longing for some stability and secure.
Longing for something which I do not even know what.
I yearn for change.
But I don't want change at the same time.
I want commitment.
But I dread commitment at the same time.
I want promises.
But I think that someday, all promises would be broken.
And.
For all these, I've come to a conclusion.
Nothing I ever did was 100% right or 100% successful.
I'm happy.
But I'm sad.
I'm cynical.
But I'm idealistic.
I want.
But I dread.
Do you know who I am?
'cause apparently, I don't.
I don't.
D o n ' t .
♥ much loves, 9:59 PM
Friday, October 24, 2008
I feel truly blessed.
Today, I felt that I belonged.I don't know why the sudden randomness.
But, it just dawned on me.
How easily I fitted in.
How stupid and crazy I can get.
Hoe comfortable I feel.
The ease I feel.
Thank you.
No pretense.
No hypocrisy.
True friendship.
:D
♥ much loves, 7:22 PM
Let's celebrate...with one-quarter happiness.
LOL.ONE WEEK PAST...meaning, more than one-quarter of the O level is o-v-e-r.
(:
I'm so happy.
Today ia a double maths day, but quite relax compared to like...yesterday?!
LOL.
MY BLOG'S DRY.
Gonna catch some forest fire soon.
& perhaps haze...that might spread to neighbouring blogs.
(?!?!?!)
LOL.
Remind me again.
P.GEOG IS OVER.
(:
HOKAY.
I'm in a super high mood today.
LALA~
LALALA~
HOHOHOHO.
HAHAHA.
(:
JIAYOU.
PERSERVERE.
GOGO.
:D
♥ much loves, 6:49 PM
Thursday, October 23, 2008
The urgency.
I need to hold on to everything.'cause I'm afraid I'll lost touch with everyone.
Desperately.
Just got an insistent and urgent calling.
To meet up with every single one of the souls who've made an impact on me.
But again, one's that important to me doesn't necessary mean I'm important to him/her.
To cherish.
To treasure.
WAIT.
1 condition.
At least I mean something to the opposite party.
At least the opposite party is worth.
LOL.
HOHO.
1 week passed by.
LOL.
I AM GOING TO BE FREE SOON.
R O A R .
(:
I stand strongly by my principles, and sadly, my instincts too.
When I feel against something strongly, I stick by it.
Like, when I think you're not a good friend, you're not.
I got so many things to rant, but I don't think this is a good avenue.
D:
LIKE.
SOMEONE ASK YOU TO HELP THEM TO SOMETHING.
BUT YOU REALISED THAT THEY ARE NOT ASKING YOU TO DO IT 'CAUSE YOU'RE THE BEST PERSON, BUT BECAUSE THAT SOMEONE DON'T WANT TO TROUBLE ANOTHER PERSON.
HOW WILL YOU FEEL?
Sounds so bloodly like a jerk hur.
Perhaps couples DO rub off each other, to become like how the other is like.
Darn.
L O L.
♥ much loves, 7:10 PM
Light-hearted.
PHEW.PHEW.
PHEW.
PHEW.
PHEW.
Physical geography is done.
D . O . N . E .
I went to the examination room stressed till the breaking point.
I came out.
Relief washed over me.
Not because I know I will done well.
But, simply because, it's over.
The stone promptly dropped out from my heart.
From now on, I shall not take the examination with the result weighing on my mind.
I will take it, knowing that I've tried my best.
Hopefully, my daddy will love me regardless of my results.
LOL.
It's better to take the exmaination under a relaxing mood.
I need to let loose.
RUN, RUN AWAY.
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
HAHAHA.
GEOGRAPHY IS HALF DONE.
HAHAHA.
Ha.
Haha.
Hahaha.
Hahahaha.
Hahahahaha.
Hahahaha.
Hahaha.
Haha.
Ha.
:D
LAMESHIT.
But, I'm feeling very very very H I G H now.
(:
LOL.
& I am still holding on.
Holding on to a foolish thing.
But, I'm happy.
♥ much loves, 4:37 PM
Help.
My daddy's stressing me.D:
I'm glad that I have a car to take everyday to the examinations.
But, if it's stressing me so badly, I rather not...
Yesterday, he came home and told me something.
He told me, he postponed/cancelled a trip to China just to take me to the examination ground everyday.
I don't know if that's true or not.
But, he added something.
Since, he's supporting me by taking me to scholl everyday, I should score well.
'cause my failure is his failure.
Goodness gracious...
Does he know?
Know that I don't do well under stressful conditions?
& does he even know, he's stressing me up?
Snapping.
♥ much loves, 9:11 AM
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Oh geez.
I'm e x h a u s t e d.O'Level is pushing me to the extreme.
Great.
Just Day 3 and I feel so dead.
4 more papers to go for the week.
Help!
Everyday I return home so hungry and tired.
D:
Yet, once my head hit the pillow, thoughts will just swarm around my head.
And.
I can't fall asleep.
This is just so great.
Today I woke up late.
Totally spoil my mood.
:/
ZZZ.
Taking its toll on me.
D:
I;m finishing the chicken essence at home!
LOL.
My mama is sweet.
Pampers me a lot.
(:
1. She'll purposely stay home and cook for me.
2. No matter whta, she always tells me it's alright. When I woke up late today, she just keep saying, "Never mind, never mind." and gave me food to eat.
My daday is really touching.
1. He comes home just to fetch me to school for the past two days.
:D
I hope I don't let them down, especially my father.
:/
No wonder I can't fall asleep everyday despite being so tired.
♥ much loves, 9:57 AM
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Because.
Sometimes, you don't flare up.Because the person is your friend.
Sometimes, you try not to be angry.
Because the person is your friend.
& guess what.
I realise.
You're not the type of friend I'm looking for.
But, because you're my friend.
♥ much loves, 10:02 AM
Sunday, October 19, 2008
How wide is your love?
Love.Towards anyone, you daddy, mummy, boyfriend, girlfriend, brothers, sisters, friends...etc.
What is your way of showing them?
1. Forcing and demanding them to do something that you think will eventually lead them to happiness.
2. Advising them on what to do but eventually accept what they choose and do.
3. Let them do what they want.
I was inclined towards 1, till recent years, I strive to become 2.
I would never become 3, I hope.
Something kinda major happened at home.
I shan't elaborate.
Yet, I hold a different stand as my mother.
The problem is not regarding me though.
I can see her being very frustrated.
Yet, I disagree with her views.
I don't know how to put it across to her either.
Sometimes, don't you think it's kind of frustrating when whatever you view towards a particular sensitive subject is different from you mummy's view.
Yet, it'll hurt her if you say it tactlessly.
Hai.
D:
Let's just hope everything will become alright.
'cause if it takes a downturn, I'm afraid it'll be a bad one.
One that may break everything apart.
One that might hurt both parties.
Somehow, Singapore claim herself to be liberal and democratic - please recall The Pledge.
Perhaps, the 'democratic' here is self-governing and independent, and not egalitarian, free and uncensored.
Sure, we are no longer that conservative.
Kissing and hugging can be seen everywhere.
& if you're lucky, perhaps even sex - refer to my incident this year.
Yet, thoughts.
Thoughts that are in all our heads.
Are we as liberal as we all seem to be?
Or is this all a facade?
A facade that pleases us all to think that "Ooi, we're all open-minded and free!"
Apparently, it's not.
Have you ever think about it?
Through all our life, we are taught not to be racist, sexist and being discriminating.
On the other hand, take a look at the education system.
Aren't we all being classified again and again?
The ranks in class.
The 'best' class and the 'worst' class, yes, I bet you've chanced upon this few terms more often than not.
EM1, EM2 and Em3.
Special, Express, Normal.
Junior colleges, polytechnics, institutions of technical education.
Can you see?
It's all but a filtering system.
More and more gets leave out of the 'superior' stream.
So, are we supposed to judge or not?
Are we supposed to classify or not?
The cme lessons in class teaches us not to be prejudice towards others.
But, ain't the education system being judgemental?
Perhaps, this is why all of us will judge subconsciously.
It's just implemented into our inner self.
How can one who is being judged from young not learn to judge?
It's ironic.
Very ironic.
But again, classifying is for the better.
It's to stretch the potential of all of us.
It's to identify what you're good at. (Unfortunately, it also identify what you're bad at.)
Perhaps this is why we have this thinking.
If something isn't good, it's bad.
No?
Too much study just makes out brain black and white.
There's no grey at all.
You're right, or you're wrong.
Count the ocassions when you've been really neutral on a subject.
One, two..or maybe three?
We always take stands.
Why?
I don't agree with this.
Reason: 'cause I do not agree.
Yes, but that doesn't mean I can't be neutral right?
A lot of times, there are issue with no reason for us to object or oppose.
Yet, we still end up on one side.
No, I'm not encouraging indecisiveness.
But rather, think about an issue that is totally none of your business.
Do you choose to stay neutral?
Most of the time, sadly, no.
We all take sides.
And, we all take the side where the majority is on.
The society is just a narrow passage.
Whatever that is not the norm, will be cast aside.
To me, democratic, is just, accepting everything that doesn't harm people.
No, it doesn't mean you have to BE everything.
But rather, accept and find no wrong with things that doesn't harm you.
No?
Sometimes, if only we can stretch our hearts wider.
Everything will be fine.
But, classification and the spirit of judging will go on and on.
It's inevitable.
Everyone just wants the best for themselves.
♥ much loves, 8:12 PM
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Happy birthday!
Today is darling WeeKiat's birthday!
HOHO.
I think he's the only boy who loves to take photographs with me!
(Aside from ChzeKian and Vito, that is)
Let's digress.
TOP 3 BOYS WHO HATE TAKING PHOTOGRAPHS.
1. WeiLi
- An extremist who refuse to have his photo taken. AT ALL TIMES.
2. Keith
- Hais. He only take photgraphs with guys willingly I think. LOL.
3. NguanHan
- No comments.
HOKAY. Today a childish and immature guy's birthday.
LALA.
But seriously, now's not the time to have a birthday.
D:
No one is in the mood to celebrate.
Fret not.
I shall organise.
LALA.
(:
ANYWAYWAYWAY.
I share with you guys a darn 'xiasuay' incident.
:/
See, I'm nice.
Provide ya guys with entertainment in between studying.
Well, on 16 October, I was telling NguanHan that he must sms WeeKiat to wish him a happy birthday the next day.
And yea, we both sms WeeKiat.
To my utmost horror, WeeKiat told me is 18 oct.
Oh gawd.
:(
LOL.
So, expected, NguanHan smsed waaay before me, and was told that he got the date wrong too.
:/
Hais.
& obviously, I was scolded by NguanHan.
What I can't understand is...WEILI also got the date wrong.
Nono, I didn't remind WeiLi.
LOL.
& what's strange is, I remembered Keith telling me it's 17Oct.
So..that's why I got the date wrong.
Damn embarassed.
HAI.
HAI.
HAI.
D:
Failure.
:/
I think I'm a klutz and kinda dense nowadays.
HAI.
XINFANG.
You rubbing off me.
HOW?
LOL.
No, the dense part don't apply to you.
LOL.
OKAY.
ANYWAY.
Os ON...
M.O.N.D.A.Y.
Great.
LOL.
ON!
Let's go!
(:
♥ much loves, 3:16 PM
I don't understand.
Don't understand how one can be so judgemental towards certain issues.Perhaps, 'cause I'm not in teh position myself.
But, love is all about acceptance.
& not about how others views us.
No?
Was listening to a conversation.
It's amazing how a conversation can just go on and on about moral values, right and wrong, how other views her and blah blah blah.
But, not one question was about happiness.
♥ much loves, 11:19 AM
Friday, October 17, 2008
Sitting arrangement.
HEY PEOPLE.Sitting arrangements for O is on litespeed, yo!
Check it out!
Ooi, I'm in class 5B.
L O L.
2nd desk from the front, near the window.
GOGO POWER.
I shall go kiss the table and pray to it on that day.
(:
♥ much loves, 6:48 PM
What do you get?
In life, there's UPS and there's downs.For now, it's d.
Sometimes, negative thoughts just have a way to get into your mind and gnaw relentlessly at your smile.
Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, all you get is a stone, hard reflection - blocking off your efforts.
Sometimes, you can't help but think, will happiness just disappear?
Sometimes, you can't help but think, is everything for real.
Sometimes, sometimes.
Too much of it just sap away your energy.
s p i l t .
♥ much loves, 2:47 PM
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Preciousness.
Value.
Value.
To be weighed.
Maybe, it's time for some drastic measure.
LOL.
'cause I love myself too much.
Or maybe...this is just a passing extreme craziness.
♥ much loves, 3:29 PM
This is for you.
Yes, this is the post, not yesterday's, that is for you, Mr A.I don't know what led you to that misunderstanding...
But again, it doesn't matter how, but rather why.
I just felt that...some thing's changed since that incident.
Don't you agree?
& I'm sure you know which incident.
Somehow, everything became kind of false and virtual.
We became more polite.
We became more wary and careful while approaching the other.
Does it need to come to here?
There was a type when a friendship was forged.
To help.
To laugh.
To joke.
Somehow, it got lost.
Was it my fault?
Or was it you who err?
Again, it doesn't matter anymore.
At a point in time, I was sincere in helping.
Really very sincere in helping.
I hope you sensed it.
I wanted you to do well.
Wanted you to have greater aspirations.
Wanted you to enter a good school.
'cause that's what a friend should do, I tell myself.
But, one day, you snapped at me.
I guess, it was then, a crack form.
Why do I mind so much, you may ask.
The reason is simple.
You snapped because of something I want to help you in.
Something I tried my best to do.
I can't help but feel that everything is just so unfair and unappreciated.
I'm sorry.
The next day, the crack widened.
Perhaps I was too obstinate.
Perhaps I was too idealistic.
Perhaps I had overestimated my abilities.
I had thought that I was able to help you.
I had thought I was that few friends who can help you in the academics area.
Yes, I can't help you in your CCA aspect, or any other aspect.
But, I just thought, I could help you in one aspect.
& I tried.
But I guess, that wasn't enough.
May hap, I was being too self-centered, thinking that you should work hard since I'm helping.
Who am I?
Just a friend.
I don't actually possess the power to motivate you.
Yes, and that's why it got tiring, for me, that is.
On many occasions, I felt very tired.
Yet, I didn't tell you 'cause I know something will happened, and that is this.
This strained friendship.
The unwillingness of you.
Both of us getting defensive.
Both of us getting paranoid.
It's not fun.
Not fun at all.
But I guess, we both can't help it.
♥ much loves, 10:15 AM
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Rants.
Sometimes, you meet friends who only approach you for help.They only sms or talk to you in msn when they need your help.
Kind of irritating.
But again, you'll think.
"They're friends. Forget it."
:x
Or perhaps, they can only approach you.
Highly unlikely but, sometimes, self-dillusion helps.
♥ much loves, 8:17 PM
Brake or Break?
I'm having sleeping problems recently.Oh my mama!
D:
Toss'n'turn;
Flip'n'flop.
It doesn't do me any good.
&, finally, when I'm feeling sleepy.
3 people took turns to wake me up.
Oh my mama! x2
D:
Thank you, WeiLi.
Thank you, Brian.
Thankyou, ONGTINGYAN.
(No sarcasm intended!)
* smiles sweetly *
LOL.
WeiLi CALLED to ask me to remember to hand in the Times magazine form.
~!@#$%^&*()
Brian SMSED to confirm about the 35 bucks prom ticket.
~!@#$%^&*()
x2
TingYan SMSED to ask about the word 'aggravate' for a lil' short story on her blog.
~!@#$%^&*()
x3
& TINGYAN.
CAN YOU SEE?
You interrupted my sleep twice 'cause that prom ticket to be sold is Y.O.U.R.S too.
:p
LOL.
OK.
ENTERTAINMENT ENDED.
Back to work.
P/S.
IDOL(s) for the moment: B E E S .
For they're hardworking.
For they digest the information - nectar - they are given to something useful - pollen.
Yes, cliché .
:p
Took it from those hmt comprehensions.
LOL.
♥ much loves, 10:46 AM
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
360 degress turn.
OMG.I'm now very, very, very, very, very, very happy.
Paper.
Full of substance.
MAKE ME SO PROUD.
Lalalala.
:D
OMG.
LOL.
& I guess this is what will be lacking if I get all my resources from others.
Hours in front of a computer screen.
Finally.
The product.
Sense of achievement.
HOKAY.
Snap back to reality.
Where's the A1?
C.O.M.I.N.G.
Yes, I sound cocky.
Your problem?
But really, if it turns out not to be an A1 don't come and tease me.
I'll bite off your head.
:p
LOL
♥ much loves, 4:31 PM
The special concoction.
Two drops of guilt.Three drops of defiance.
One drop of irritation.
one drop of frustration.
One drop of exasperation.
One drop of boredom.
One final drop of ignorance.
The mixture.
Mixture of feelings.
♥ much loves, 2:54 PM
The-past.
Today's subject is......
...
...
Mango!
LOL.
Randomness rules.
(:
That's that.
But then, it's an ancient thing.
LOL.
That's a crazy period, coming to think of it.
My childish past.
(:
But, I like.
Nehnehnipoopoooooo.
BYE.
p/s:
The power of typo-queen.
How I spell filament:
fukanebt.
:/
♥ much loves, 9:08 AM
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Please go home.
Guess what.PM Lee Hsien Long is a stone's throw away from me.
Grah.
Darn noisy.
Please go home.
Go go go go go.
Some opening ceremoney at the Greenridge Shopping Centre.
2 days.
2 days.
Opening ceremony marathon?
Trying to break a Guiness World Record?
LOL.
♥ much loves, 10:42 AM
*sniffles*
Everybody, say hello to Mr. Flu."GOOD MORNING."
Darn.
Go away, Mr Flu.
Don't pester me.
:p
ROAR
ROAR
ROAR
♥ much loves, 8:53 AM
Saturday, October 11, 2008
A weird week.
Last week, I told myself, I shall not approach anyone.Well, basically I was just have a sense of fatigue of human kind.
So, I decided that I shan't take the initiative to greet and talk to people.
A few days gone by, and I realised I failed terribly.
I guess, I have the habit of talking to people and greeting people.
Ha.
What an irony.
Sometimes, when I think too much, I really get very tired.
Tired at situations thataren't going according to what I have in mind.
:/
Sick of so many, many things.
At the same time, elated at so many, many things.
I enjoy giving.
Yet, it gets tiring after a while.
:/
Perhaps, life is all aout striking a balance.
Give and take.
Give and take.
Give and take.
Don't ya think we all focuses too much on what we have given others and not what we've taken from others?
Less demanding.
More appreciative.
Everything'll be so much more beautiful.
♥ much loves, 8:23 PM
Friday, October 10, 2008
5 random facts.
HOKAY.5 recent, random facts about tjl.
1. I'm having severe indigestion problem now.
2. I'm chatting with WeiLi on msn now.
3. It's kinda confirm that I'll be having tuition with 2 brothers next year. SO, income of 220 per month.
4. I'm going a buffet on Sunday 'cause there's a new baby!
5. I like the channel 8 detective drama! :D
Actually, I wanted to state 10 facts, but...I can't think of anything much.
D:
♥ much loves, 3:08 PM
At home.
Waha, have been spending time at home!So, today, I played badminton with mamamamaaaaa early in the morning.
:D
It's such a looooooong time since I played badminton with her.
(:
& I say it's time I know what in the world is treasure and cherish.
After O, time with mama!
(:
<3
♥ much loves, 2:50 PM
Thursday, October 9, 2008
No air.
& as I listened to "No air" by Jordin Sparks, I feel breathless.'cause I thought of a black metallic object that dropped into a bowl-like structure in an ancient building.
Whenever there was some distinct radiation, it will sound the song- no air.
Why?
Damn it.
My heart ache.
LOL.
I.
MUST.
GET.
IT.
FIXED.
Now is just not the time.
Bloody idiotic.
♥ much loves, 7:03 PM
Let's be cheerful!
& the fairytale my dearest mama always tell me before I sleep.
CHECK IT OUT, YO!
:D
I share with you a drop of my craziness.
DAILY DOSAGE KKKk!
♥ much loves, 1:25 PM
I'm happy today!
HOKAY.'cause I'm happy, I shall post about unhappy things!
Sometimes, I feel very discouraged to study.
To ace my Os, to do well.
I study for who, and for what, I often ask myself.
Yes, I know, it's for my own good.
However, there are friends, who'll tell me, "Wah! If I can get your results, my mom will dance already."
Yes.
But, will mine?
No.
& yes, a conversation recently confirmed my doubts about this subject.
Well, apparently, after nagging 3 children to study hard and blah, blah, blah, my mom just felt that there was no need to repeat the whole leacture to me, the fourth kid she has.
So, it's my dad's turn.
Then. my mom began saying if I was to score well in the os, it's my father's efforts.
So, I just ask, "Why is it not my effort?"
& the both of them just bluntly, and tactlessly, replied, " 这是你的本分。"
Simply meaning, it's my duty.
Yes, it's mine.
But, can they please recognise that A1s do not drop from the sky?
One has to jump, and jump, and jump before pinching it.
Not as though I'm a natural born genius with an IQ of 200, albeit having a higher than average IQ.
It's just so disheartening to confirm my suspicions that my parents would either be nonchalent or just plain disappointed with my results.
Yes, it does seems great that I can get great results.
Yet, so?
When I get the supposedly great results, no one would be happy hur.
They will just feel that it's normal and expected.
Just kind of doused my mood to study.
At the end of the day, I would only have them being neutral about good results, or disappointed about bad results.
Where's the happiness?
& the saying that goes, with higher expectation, comes more disappointment should be changed to, with higher expectation, goes your happiness.
Ain't that right?
& it's true under any circumstances.
Sometimes, it's really very, very pressurising to do well in something.
Expectations rise, competitions rise.
All these strains relationship.
How can pure and genuine friendship exist under scheming environment?
It can't.
& I'm disappointed with someone else too.
Once, you did the same thing.
I thought that you agreed with the saying that friends should be truthful?
Oh yes?
Now what?
You are telling me you don't know how to communicate now.
Great, I say.
What about then?
Have you forgotten how you have taken another role?
You made me feel as though you only say things to your benefits.
You only fo things that is to your advantage.
Advantage to your current circumstances.
& yes.
Os coming.
Coming.
♥ much loves, 11:09 AM
Monday, October 6, 2008
WELLDONE.
*plop*& the phone went down, into the toilet bowl.
Well done, tohjiale, well done.
Great.
& now the whole screen just can't sense.
What the fuck.
♥ much loves, 4:18 PM
Thank you.
I told myself I'll rush to use the computer for 15 minutes.& this is what I saw.
Thank you, so very very much.
Let me see, I think this is the very first time I'm so touched by you.
LOL.
& no I'm not that 255 girl she mentioned.
Not.
LOL.
(:
Off to bathe..and it's GRADUATION DAY.
Great.
♥ much loves, 9:25 AM
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Statue.
Stony mood.I feel tired suddenly.
♥ much loves, 4:22 PM
Graduating.
Yes, it's the time to say goodbyes.:/
这种复杂的心情，我不喜欢。
不舍中夹杂着一丝丝的后悔。
后悔自己没学会珍惜。
为自己没时刻的保持微笑感到内疚。
天下没不散之席。
的确。
但，时间会冲淡大家的记忆吗?
在彼此人生旅途中所留下的脚印会被磨平吗?
深怕时间有如海浪，高潮时，便把沙滩上所有的脚印洗去，不留半点足迹。
人乃时间之奴。
个人的不愿不代表什么。
渺小。
但，不舍归不舍。
我不愿在最后的时刻与时间赛跑。
我不愿在近日落时努力地拼命制造回忆。
因为，我只仅仅想保存大家最自然的表情、反应与言行举止。
不求任何发人深省或感人肺腑的言语。
不含任何伪装的动作而是发自内心的话。
仅如此，如此而已。
或许显得略冷漠无情、不慎珍惜但我只是单纯的想保存自己认为是最真实的画面。
因为，它们才是最值得叫人留念的回忆。
人往往都是完美主义者，特别是近终点时。
但，此时，我最不想看到的就是因为快要离别所以大家才和和气气的。
有何必要?
& yes, it's been a long time since I posted in chinese.
'cause I just don't know how to express myself in English currently.
I just want to go after memories without pretense, without anything.
Memories of incidents that happens.
Not memories that are made 'cause everything is ending.
It'll be pointless.
I'll miss most of the people in my class.
D:
All I want, is quality time spent.
♥ much loves, 3:11 PM
Stiffled.
It's time for farewells.I don't like pretense.
Thank you, everyone.
I don't know what to post.
What's in the future?
Am I happy?
No longer, no longer.
Goodbye.
♥ much loves, 12:21 PM
Thursday, October 2, 2008
EMPTY.
GOSH.I AM SO VERY VERY VERY...
First day in school for the week.
Feeling darn tired now.
Wanna sleep.
*yawns*
Great, & this is why I don't go to school.
I have no idea, but I'll always be like...so overwhelmed with fatigue.
Most probably due to the fcat that I go around "boo-ing", "hello-ing" and delivering butt slaps.
Gosh.
I should really learn to conserve my energy.
:p
zzz.
DREAMLAND, don't come and find me so soon.
It's just 6.45pm now.
D:
GRAH.
I AM VERY...
zzz.
*snorts*
*snores*
BURP.
LOL. Have been burping all day long to entertain LOWWEILUN.
:/
*UUURP.*
*URP.*
*a...URP*
*URP.*
Till I felt like vomiting.
:/
TSK.
SEE?
Waste of energy again.
:x
GRAH.
UGH.
GROWL.
ROAR.
TIRED.
VERY.
TIRED.
VERY.
VERY.
TIRED.
*conserving energy*
Bye!
& this ends a redundant post.
OHOH.
I just though of how free I'll be after Os.
No way will I work.
LOL.
About...75% sure.
HAHA.
I WANNA ENJOY AND LET LOOSE.
& go crazy!
(Officially)
LOL.
♥ much loves, 6:43 PM
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
It's lighter already.
Feeling damn...overwhelmed, so I took out a book and read.& read...
& read,
& read.
I feel so much better now.
Not 'cause of the plot, but the feeling of reading.
LOLS.
Guess what I read.
A non-fiction story about 4 groups of children.
One of which imprinted deeply in my mind.
A pair of twins, a girl and a boy, was abused by their parent, with their mom the mastermind.
They would be called to the bed room, and be sexually abused.
The boy by his mom, the girl by her dad.
Sometimes, they'ld be ordered to have sex with each other in front of their parents.
They have a bedroom in the house, but they rarely slept there.
They would be punished, when they did something which is not to their mom's liking, to hide in a closet, as big as a coffin.
In darkness.
Or, they'll just be forced into a shed, and locked in there.
They lived their live in shed filled with their own faeces and urine.
Imagine the smell.
:/
They weren't given food, & their sole company was a cat.
The cat will always sit by the edge of the window.
They learn to catch birds, and eat them raw from the cat, 'cause they were just too hungry.
It doesn't taste nice, but they still ate it.
In winter, still kept in the shed, they had no blankets at all.
The girl, so desperate for warmth, cuddled the cat and her brother while sleeping.
That night, her mom came into the shed.
Seeing them seeking solace and comfort from the cat, she grabbed the cat up.
That's not the end.
She took it to the kitchen, ordering the dad to hold the cat still.
Welding a knife, she ended the cat's life.
Cruel.
Yes.
But, (yes, but), what else did she do?
She, stuffed vegetable in the cat and cooked it, forcing the two siblings to eat it.
When they only pick out the vegetable to eat, she hit them, forcing them to eat the cat, their only friend.
Tell me, is this sick or what?
I always feel so ignorant reading such stories.
& it's just something to share, 'cause not many of use know such things are going on in the world.
Cherish.
Treasure.
2 words that people often than not hang by their mouth.
Yet, they don't always do it.
It's true.
Who knows how to hold on to things before losing them?
However, when we know how to, it's often too late.
Too many things taken for granted.
Too many.
D:
I wonder.
Is it better to have it and lose it or is it better to never have it before?
Be it, love, friendship and money.
It's worth debating.
LOL.
Yes, with every loss, we grow.
But, with every loss, there comes a regret too.
Growing because one regret, doesn't sound too nice hur.
:/
& today, I suddenly got an urge to become a psychologist again.
LOL.
Or, a social worker.
Find me in 10 years time.
By then, I should have a career, I hope.
Lol.
& yes, my interest.
1. Psychologist/social worker
2. Journalist
3. Doctor, but I fear I can't make it.
(But wouldn't it be fun? I can issue mc to myself!)
& I just feel like understanding the world better.
Why the selfish acts, why the disapproval, why the judging attitude.
The world, is by far, a cracked vase.
Looking from afar, it's so pretty.
Yet, on a closer look, it's full of cracks.
& it's ready to fall apart anytime.
What?
When?
Which?
Who?
How?
The five questions we were brought up to ask.
But, it's not everytime, we get to have all those answers.
People evade.
People lie.
What's the truth?
Nothing, except whatever you know in your heart.
Sometimes, I wonder if I'm too much of an open book.
Too open with my feelings, leaving them hangin on my face.
Too open with my opnions and thoughts, allowing them to flow in here.
I don't like to hide.
But.
It's not a nice feeling at times.
Like,you shared, but yet, looking around, doors are locked on you.
Yea?
Somehow, somewhere.
But, there's nothing you can do.
N o t h i n g .
LOL.
But, still cheerful and optimistic yea?
At times, one has to learn to live in self-dillusion.
By telling yourself that it's all a coincidence will be a good way.
By telling yourself they don't mean it that way.
(:
& off i go, off i go.
I'm still blogging, and blogging, and blogging.
Shall do one last thing.
:D
♥ much loves, 6:09 PM
In the deepest corner of my heart.
Fear.Of balloons, if you know what I mean.
Lost.
Fear of just one little balloon with its string cut off.
I don't make sense.
Happy children's day.
♥ much loves, 1:18 AM
