Tuesday, February 24, 2009
The leap.
EH, do your know what I just realised?The difference between Secondary life and College life is "tmd" different aka VERY VERY VERY different.
OMG.
Yes, "tmd" is needed to describe the extent and magnitude of DIFFERENCE felt.
The workload has tripled.
& not the workload in sec3/4 BUT THE PEAK PERIOD BEFORE Os.
OH MY MAMA.
4H2s vs 10 subjects.
Don't joke with me.
It seems easy, but it's..SIGH.
WORK IS PILING.
& seriously, I'm redefining busy.
It's not like last time at all..
& everyone is telling me how stress they are.
(i.e. WeiLi, NguanHan and YiJia..)
Well, best wishes..
I feel like fainting so I can don't go school tomorrow.
(Tactic to avoid doing tutorials.)
TODAY is day TWO of the week.
(You know you always get the bone-tired week on Fridays?
I feel like 2 weeks of Fridays have passed by and it's only day TWO.)
PERSERVERE.
♥ much loves, 11:10 PM
Monday, February 23, 2009
Hyped up.
Okay, let's see..On Thursday I had CT dinner..& I felt that I talked more to YiJia than the amount I talked to teh rest of the class..
LOL..
Anyway, on Friday I felt rather down..
I was still not very alert in the morning but what shocked me was seeing WeiLi walking towards the bus, standing just a few feet away, waving to me through the glass.
&, in the background I saw 10+ bpians waving back at me.
I smiled.
I waved.
But I felt intense regret.
Why did I have to throw myself into HwaChong..
Why did I forgo all sense of familiarity?
Why did I give up the chance to be part of the WuZhong clan at NJ.
Why did I felt that HwaChong is the best.
All the familiar faces.
All the smiles.
The kindness..woah, it makes my senses reel.
But again, what done is done.
Over the weekends, I met up with all the lovelies- NguanHan, Brian, WeiLi and etcs.
I miss them so much.
BUT GUESS WHAT.
I'M ALL READY FOR ONE MORE WEEK WITHOUT MY USUAL FRIENDS.
'cause I'll survive.
(:
If everyweek is like this , if my bp friends don't forget me, I'll be able to carry on.
Because of the smiles and laughters on yesterday's afternoon would I be able to carry on.
Because of a glance of the supportive faces around me would I have the energy to go on.
& thanks OTY for meeting me today.
Thanks for just being there.
I'll never ever forget you.
Just because you choose a different route from me don't makes you any lesser than any other friend I make.
Thanks LU and PAT 'cause you're are so nice that I miss you so much.
I'm starting to like school more and more.
'cause of everything.
Even when the odds are against me, I will still perservere.
'cause I can make it.
:D
I think I still need my weekly doses of BPIANS.
OMYHOLYSHIT.
I think I just confirmed the fact that they are friends that'll stick by me.
(:
I might get very busy.
I might not use the computer daily.
But well, if you are my good friend, please just call/sms my number.
:D
I will like you to.
Heh~
Because, just because, YOU remembered to find me when you felt sad, I know I matter.
Thank you.
& I update, 'cause I wanna thank you.
You make me realise that I'm still important.
两人份的笑容:
:D :D
♥ much loves, 9:06 PM
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Positivity.
I JUST REALISED!!ALL my post recently are too negative.
NONONO.
THIS CAN'T BE ME YO!
SMILE WHILE CRYING!
(What kind of lameshit is this!)
BUT WELL.
BE HAPPY.
I WILL TRY TO BE.
CAUSE...I AM TOH JIA LE.
WOOHOO!!!
♥ much loves, 11:39 PM
Feel happy for M.E.
Guess what?"WHAT?"
I MET UP WITH 3 PEOPLE I LOVED DEARLY.
OMYGOSH.
Like..FINALLY!
Thank you dearest LIMYIANLU, PATRINAGOH and WUZHIYING.
:D:D:D:D
Since school start we've met up so little..
& I still remembered what I said, somehow all 3(PAT, LU and ME) of us would go our ways seperately.
It's kind of funny.
Furthermore we kept assuming Lu and Pat would somehow end up in teh same school.
But well, I'm sure we'll still be like the best best best friends.
:D
.
Finally school is gonna start officially.
Seriously, I have this weird lil' confession to make: I'm very sick of orientation.
I miss the stabbility and solitude I once had in my life.
I wanna adjust quick and get into the swing of College life.
It ain't easy at all.
I wanna lessons to begin, cca to start.
I want to be released earlier than 6pm daily.
I want to be able to meet up with friends, to go back to BPGHS.
Yes, my school is unknown in HwaChong..But really, I love it alot.
Of course, the facilities are not as good as HC.
But you know what, I miss the people, the teachers, the familiarity.
I once take pride in being to adapt quick to new beginnings.
But guess what, I'm struggling.
On Friday, singing all those songs of HwaChong, I felt like crying.
I miss BP.
I miss my friends.
Though the songs are meant for HC, the lyrics of true friendship led me to think about BP.
All my dearest and fondest memories reside there.
I miss being that loud aroudn with my friends.
I miss being so darn crazy.
I miss being myself.
Some people are so cynical to the extent that I'm wary of being myself..
It's really hard.
But really, if you want me to count my blessings, I will say: I'm 100% thankful that YiJia got into the same class as me.
Somehow, we were never as close as now.
& really, when I was in the deepest point last week, she was there, telling me she would back me up.
& thankyou, Ong Ting Yan for remembering to call me after my orientation on Friday to ask how I was doing.
I'm not very fine, but don't worry, I will still be the Jia Le you know.
I promise myself, I will not morph myself to suit certain culture.
I'm not being obstinate or anything, I just wanna be myself..
I don't wanna get involve in girls politics.
I don't wanna lose myself while trying to fit into a new environment.
I don't wanna lie to myself.
"It will be okay..", "It will get better.."..
So many people told me these.
I was once the most optimistic.
What happened?
Shucks.
I will not be beaten..
I wanna be happy.
I will be, I will be..
I WILL GO BACK TO BPGHS THIS WEEK.
Back to the people and the environment I love..
(& the worst is..I can't even tell my family that I'm not exactly happy in HC..
Because they always felt that's the best school I can get.
I already got pestered for 2 years for not getting into nyghs..
But frankly, I can't be much more happier in BP..
They just assumed I'm good and fine in school..when all is not that fine..)
GO GO GO..
I will survive man!
SMILES!
♥ much loves, 11:08 PM
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Voice-less.
OMYGOD.Can you imagine, me- the one who needs to talk constantly, LOST HER VOICE?
It totally sucks to be croaking just like an ugly toad.
GRAH.
I lost it even before teh campfire..due to being too heaty, I guess.
OH MAN.
& tmr I have tuition..HOW AM I GONNA TEACH.
LOL.
HAND SIGNS..which ONLY WeiLi can understand..
.
CAMPFIRE ROCK.
It's really fun!
SCHOOL..is getting better.
(But well, it can't possibly get worse.)
THE CLASS (09s7h) is also getting better.
WOOHOO.
I was rather scared of the girls..(You know..girl-phobia due to some incident..)
The guys are sweet la!
They're very nice to teh girls cos it was vday!
WOOHOO.
.
CANOE was fun today.
WOHOO.
.
Met up with: NguanHan, Keith, WeiLi, Edrei, ChzeKian, JianZhong and Brian at...Brian's house!
Mahjong again..
& I fell sleep on Brian's couch.
OMG LA..
Didn't even realise it when NH, K and JZ went home.
o.o!!
.
JIAYOU EVERYONE.
♥ much loves, 9:53 PM
Thursday, February 12, 2009
I want to meet up with you all.
LIM YIAN LU.PATRINA GOH.
WU ZHIYING.
You guys are desperately needed..
Truth is: I can't help feeling affected.
I keep telling myself I need to survive, but it's only working to a small extent.
I don't know what I've done wrong.
I only know you guys are the ones who accepted me for who I am..but yet, are no longer there in my daily life.
You who allowed me to be myself.
Who put up with my grumbles.
Who do not, and will never hate me for my craziness.
Only 9 school days, and I feel like crumbling.
I want to tell myself:
I shouldn't care, 'cause they suck.
They don't even know how it feels to be thrown into a place where everyone knows everyone.
They don't even know how overwhelming it feels to step into such a strange place.
To enter somewhere with a culture so different.
With the need to deal with friends politics.
They don't even know how bloody ridiculous they sound to judge someone when it's not even been a month.
They don't even really know who I am.
It's fucking crazy.
& I can't control it.
.
V-day's coming.
I love you guys.
♥ much loves, 9:38 PM
Monday, February 9, 2009
Negativity.
I'm not feeling too good today.I'm gonna fight the war by myself.
Will I just die?
Suck to be me..
):
♥ much loves, 10:00 PM
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Scram.
I'm tired of your nonsense.Today, I've seen two people doing the exact same things.
& I feel like screaming.
It sucks.
It totally, totally sucks.
Don't come running only when you need something..
♥ much loves, 12:43 AM
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Pictures of Beauty.
.
.
.
MORE TOMORROW!
I can't say how much I love everyone..
I will miss everyone.
I think it's sometimes inevitabvle that some of us will drift apart.
But let's all knwo that deep in our hearts, all are dear to us and we will make the effort to stay in touch.
I love, YOU.
Yes you, the ones reading this now!
♥ much loves, 8:47 PM
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
HwaChong.
Well well, I guess I should update you guys about my stuff recently!& also to note to myself something which is really an important chapter in my life..
I got into HwaChongInstituition.
I was elated, overjoyed, nervous and so worried.
First day:
OVERWHELMED.
It's really scary to be the minority of 200+ with the IP population standing at 900+.
To fit in?
It seems such an impossible thought.
What's more with our maroon skirts standing out in a sea of...brown.
LOL.
I do admit I'm having a MUCH better time there as compared to my BP peers.
But sometimes, flashes of fear and unease still catch me uinguarded when everyone seems to know everyone while you...feel so alone in a population of 1142.
Second day:
I'm happy but tired.
My orientation group really really madce my day.
& you know what?
I'm falling in love with HwaChong.
A small fish i might be, but I'm happy.
The guys are so gentleman though childish at times.
Girls are a good bunch too!
My OG really made me very happy.
(:
I HOPE I'LL FIT RIGHT IN.
SO DO EVERYONE AT YOR SCHOOL K?
♥ much loves, 10:18 PM
